This is my last Liverpool blog posting. I'm not sure what to write about finishing my Vincentian Volunteer experience early, but I have heard that when in doubt tell the truth. So here's my truth: over the last six weeks the phrase, "What am I doing here?" has repeatedly run through my head and heart. The combination of unsuitable work placements, hollow community and an overall disappointing experience of Liverpool has resulted in me feeling tired, depressed and somewhat homesick. So I decided to leave ahead of schedule.
I'm not certain I have made the best decision, and by staying through the year I might have been given some unforseen blessing, but I was no longer optimistic about what could be accomplished in or through me. My heart had given up and the rest of me followed. Hopefully I made some kind of positive difference to a child or fellow volunteer and I do carry away some good experiences and lessons from these past three months.
The most evident lesson that resonates within me now that I have returned home is the basic statement of the Christian faith, which also happens to be the core of the Jewish faith. Jesus is once asked what is the greatest law. He answers with what is called in Hebrew the Shema. Deuteronomy 6:4. You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might. Let these words be written on your heart.
When things got tough in Liverpool I turned away from my morning devotional time and failed to keep God and his goodness at the center of my existence. From there it was short trip to feeling disheartened, disconnected and disaffected. The greatest law is the greatest law and always will be the greatest law. If I can learn nothing else from these three months but keep this truth stamped on my soul, then this experience won't have been a waste. Thanks for reading and have a Happy Christmas.
