This is my last Liverpool blog posting. I'm not sure what to write about finishing my Vincentian Volunteer experience early, but I have heard that when in doubt tell the truth. So here's my truth: over the last six weeks the phrase, "What am I doing here?" has repeatedly run through my head and heart. The combination of unsuitable work placements, hollow community and an overall disappointing experience of Liverpool has resulted in me feeling tired, depressed and somewhat homesick. So I decided to leave ahead of schedule.
I'm not certain I have made the best decision, and by staying through the year I might have been given some unforseen blessing, but I was no longer optimistic about what could be accomplished in or through me. My heart had given up and the rest of me followed. Hopefully I made some kind of positive difference to a child or fellow volunteer and I do carry away some good experiences and lessons from these past three months.
The most evident lesson that resonates within me now that I have returned home is the basic statement of the Christian faith, which also happens to be the core of the Jewish faith. Jesus is once asked what is the greatest law. He answers with what is called in Hebrew the Shema. Deuteronomy 6:4. You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might. Let these words be written on your heart.
When things got tough in Liverpool I turned away from my morning devotional time and failed to keep God and his goodness at the center of my existence. From there it was short trip to feeling disheartened, disconnected and disaffected. The greatest law is the greatest law and always will be the greatest law. If I can learn nothing else from these three months but keep this truth stamped on my soul, then this experience won't have been a waste. Thanks for reading and have a Happy Christmas.
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Sunday 13 November 2011
Television
For all her faults, Britain has some good TV. Like what?
Well, last night I saw great documentary about George Harrison, almost as good as those I watched about Pink Floyd and then Harry Nillson. There's an entire channel called Yesterday, devoted to 20th century history and modern England. There are four BBC channels and other less serious news channels, like Mock the Week, in which comedians entertainingly present the news of England and the world. I usually skip over Antique Road Show but sometimes I watch a show called Country House, in which people buy old castles and mansions and try to restore them into high-end B&B's or reception halls. The English love travel programs, especially when it takes them sailing, and I've learned that Britain has A LOT of little towns across the nation. The movie channel here shows a lot of old American films, especially Westerns, and in general, I often get an altogether different picture of the USA as shown through English eyes.
There is some TV trash and reality shows but after having no TV for the last two years, it's a nice distraction now and then. The other faith-based volunteer group here in Liverpool, the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, lives in a house without television and I think they are missing out on a piece of British culture. an important piece? I don't know but part two of the George Harrison documentary starts tonight.
Well, last night I saw great documentary about George Harrison, almost as good as those I watched about Pink Floyd and then Harry Nillson. There's an entire channel called Yesterday, devoted to 20th century history and modern England. There are four BBC channels and other less serious news channels, like Mock the Week, in which comedians entertainingly present the news of England and the world. I usually skip over Antique Road Show but sometimes I watch a show called Country House, in which people buy old castles and mansions and try to restore them into high-end B&B's or reception halls. The English love travel programs, especially when it takes them sailing, and I've learned that Britain has A LOT of little towns across the nation. The movie channel here shows a lot of old American films, especially Westerns, and in general, I often get an altogether different picture of the USA as shown through English eyes.
There is some TV trash and reality shows but after having no TV for the last two years, it's a nice distraction now and then. The other faith-based volunteer group here in Liverpool, the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, lives in a house without television and I think they are missing out on a piece of British culture. an important piece? I don't know but part two of the George Harrison documentary starts tonight.
imago dei
Two months ago my Vincentian experience began with a week-long conference and training. During that training our Liverpool "community" (three persons) set goals for the year and were asked to agree upon a mission statement. Our house decided on the following: "TO SEE GOD IN ALL THINGS ...especially in those whom we serve, in those whom we live with and in those whom we encounter." It's not bad. We even threw in a little Latin at the end: AD MAJOREM DEI GLORIAM. To the glory of God. When we started our year of service we hung a framed printout of this mission statement in the main room of our community house to serve as a reminder and source of inspiration.
Now, two months later, I am starting to see the shortcomings of the idea that all we have to do is look for the image of God in others. There is more to serving than only that. Once the imago dei is identified in the other person, then what? (long pause) What form or purpose does service then take? I have begun to ask these questions more often now that the honeymoon phase of my service year has passed. Any amount of experience reveals that the natural goodness of people has to be developed in the presence of their other not-so-holy traits, especially self-centeredness.
In my case I have seen this past month the less-than-flattering truth that modern poor people are not always the victims of society. Sometimes they are poor because they have poor ways. Their habits aren't healthy or helpful or pleasing to God. Good hearts and hopeful intentions are not enough in themselves. It is a start but without any proper formation, the poor that I have been asked to serve remain "stuck" in a cycle of underachieving.
My time in England is my first experience living in a post-Christian society. Although there are definitely practicing Christians here, the society itself (the news, holidays, and general public conversation) is at best ambivalent about religious faith. People will speak of church in a clinical, detached way. When I asked kids about God or the Bible, they have heard of Jesus, Moses, maybe David. But they are unaware of the biblical stories and all share the general assumption that the church is not relevant to them. Coming from a church environment this is different and difficult for me and I now see that to not offer children some version of faith formation is to damn them to ignorance. There was a time when I wondered how effective it was to have kids memorize Bible verses or watched the cartoon versions of Bible stories, but now I see the other side, a biblically illiterate society. Both parents and children are forming lives without any real grounding in Scripture or prayer or church community. Not pretty.
There is a limit to what I can accomplish in this year, so I'm going to accept that I may not be able to turn around a group of people that isn't willing to pay attention to what faith has to offer. But I can be a good example and am learning here that the imago Dei is a privilege, not just an assumption. The gift of Jesus Christ is not automatic salvation but the chance to discover and develop the image of God in self and others...through convictions, choices, and even service.
Now, two months later, I am starting to see the shortcomings of the idea that all we have to do is look for the image of God in others. There is more to serving than only that. Once the imago dei is identified in the other person, then what? (long pause) What form or purpose does service then take? I have begun to ask these questions more often now that the honeymoon phase of my service year has passed. Any amount of experience reveals that the natural goodness of people has to be developed in the presence of their other not-so-holy traits, especially self-centeredness.
In my case I have seen this past month the less-than-flattering truth that modern poor people are not always the victims of society. Sometimes they are poor because they have poor ways. Their habits aren't healthy or helpful or pleasing to God. Good hearts and hopeful intentions are not enough in themselves. It is a start but without any proper formation, the poor that I have been asked to serve remain "stuck" in a cycle of underachieving.
My time in England is my first experience living in a post-Christian society. Although there are definitely practicing Christians here, the society itself (the news, holidays, and general public conversation) is at best ambivalent about religious faith. People will speak of church in a clinical, detached way. When I asked kids about God or the Bible, they have heard of Jesus, Moses, maybe David. But they are unaware of the biblical stories and all share the general assumption that the church is not relevant to them. Coming from a church environment this is different and difficult for me and I now see that to not offer children some version of faith formation is to damn them to ignorance. There was a time when I wondered how effective it was to have kids memorize Bible verses or watched the cartoon versions of Bible stories, but now I see the other side, a biblically illiterate society. Both parents and children are forming lives without any real grounding in Scripture or prayer or church community. Not pretty.
There is a limit to what I can accomplish in this year, so I'm going to accept that I may not be able to turn around a group of people that isn't willing to pay attention to what faith has to offer. But I can be a good example and am learning here that the imago Dei is a privilege, not just an assumption. The gift of Jesus Christ is not automatic salvation but the chance to discover and develop the image of God in self and others...through convictions, choices, and even service.
Monday 24 October 2011
Saturday 8 October 2011
john lennon
Tomorrow is John Lennon's birthday. I've never been much of a Beatles' fan but living in Liverpool means becoming aware of their history here. Downtown Liverpool has a museum that tracks the band's 8-year history and there are a couple of streets that still pay homage with statues, clubs where they played, bars they attended. On the whole, though, the city is trying to carve out an identity for itself that doesn't rely solely on the Fab Four. The city has changed a lot since they left, even though the band is what people immediately think about when Liverpool is mentioned.
On a walk to a big park a couple of weeks ago I accidently walked by Strawberry Field. It's not really a field but more like a big garden in a residential area. Lennon used to play there as a child and it turns out his childhood home is not far from where I'm staying. Maybe there will be some kind of tribute to him there tomorrow. He would have been 71.
On a walk to a big park a couple of weeks ago I accidently walked by Strawberry Field. It's not really a field but more like a big garden in a residential area. Lennon used to play there as a child and it turns out his childhood home is not far from where I'm staying. Maybe there will be some kind of tribute to him there tomorrow. He would have been 71.
Wednesday 5 October 2011
my other job
I'm checking in after a long absence on Blogger. Today I return to St. Vincent's School for the Visually Impaired. It's really more than a school for the blind because most of the children (45 total) also have an additional handicap besides their lack of sight. Some have cerebral palsy. Others have emotional problems or physical disabilities. Each child has his own unique situation and after three weeks I'm still not always sure what kind of care and need is appropriate for any particular student. I'm still learning names and what limitations they do or do not have. The school encourages independence, as much as possible, and makes it a point to challenge them, intentionally having us, the teachers and workers, not doing everything for them. Since I'm new the kids, mostly the teenagers, will sometimes take advantage and pretend to be unable to complete tasks so that I'll do them instead. Then the teachers will point this out and they will just smile.
Working at St. Vincent's is a nice change after three days with the public school children at St. Gregory's. Instead of contast fighting and sugar-induced movement, the St. Vincent children will sit quietly in a circle talking to each other. They move slowly, carefully and generally want to make conversation with me. They ask questions about "America" and smile a lot. One of them told me I sound like LL Cool J. Another asked if I know anybody famous. Most of the kids are very informed about the music scene and sometimes I forget they have all the instincts and hopes of an average teenager. In seminary I learned that in the biblical world loss of sight was considered a source of shame for a person and his family, a sign that God's punishment was on that family. The eyes and the heart of someone were thought to be related in a way that a person without sight was not whole and could not love fully. Jesus' response was that he was annointed with the Spirit of Yahweh to proclaim the recovery of sight to the blind and announce the year of God's favor (Luke 4). Ministry is simply helping Jesus do this by working within the same Spirit.
Today I help in the swimming pool with the students' exercise programs and tomorrow I will assist with traditionally classwork. Though my time at St. Vincent's is not always exciting or interesting, it is imitating God and following Jesus in a small, tangible way.
Working at St. Vincent's is a nice change after three days with the public school children at St. Gregory's. Instead of contast fighting and sugar-induced movement, the St. Vincent children will sit quietly in a circle talking to each other. They move slowly, carefully and generally want to make conversation with me. They ask questions about "America" and smile a lot. One of them told me I sound like LL Cool J. Another asked if I know anybody famous. Most of the kids are very informed about the music scene and sometimes I forget they have all the instincts and hopes of an average teenager. In seminary I learned that in the biblical world loss of sight was considered a source of shame for a person and his family, a sign that God's punishment was on that family. The eyes and the heart of someone were thought to be related in a way that a person without sight was not whole and could not love fully. Jesus' response was that he was annointed with the Spirit of Yahweh to proclaim the recovery of sight to the blind and announce the year of God's favor (Luke 4). Ministry is simply helping Jesus do this by working within the same Spirit.
Today I help in the swimming pool with the students' exercise programs and tomorrow I will assist with traditionally classwork. Though my time at St. Vincent's is not always exciting or interesting, it is imitating God and following Jesus in a small, tangible way.
Wednesday 28 September 2011
garbage
Every day I walk to work. It's a 30-minute walk next to a busy two-lane road. It's a nice walk but man, there is a lot of garbage on the ground. Mostly plastic bottles and candy wrappers but I've also seen large trash bags. Anyway, since arriving in Liverpool, this has been a disappointment. Now and then I'd try to pick up a piece of trash and throw it away but that is just a small step. After a few weeks of my disgust, I've noticed that one reason there is so much trash everywhere is that there aren't any trash cans available. Today I carried my apple core for 20 minutes before finding a can. No wonder there's so much on the ground. And I guess the reason there aren't many trash receptors (and those are usually filled to overflowing) is that someone would have to pick the trash up and that would require another salary. Well, the grounds at St. Gregory's has a fair amount of trash too. And since today was another pleasant, sunny day I found a trash bag and started cleaning up. Surprisingly, the kids suddenly started to help, aided by these cool little mechanical arms that grab things by squeezing a trigger. We picked up two bags of trash and even had a little fun while doing it. At one point the kitchen lady came out and put sunscreen on the kids (rolling eyes) and somehow the boys managed to fight over the same piece of trash. Otherwise, we had a good afternoon.
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